Say goodbye to being a kid

As we drove into Canary Beach Resort for my 19th summer, I began to realize that I could never go back to being a child. Apparently up to this point I had hoped that I could regress to a time that lacked the stress and responsibility of my current life.

I used to depend on this resort as a reminder of the simple life. It had ten cabins that could only be described as "janky." My family rented all five on the lakefront, leaving a giant open space for us to play wiffle ball and to push picnic table together for dinner every night. It was family time at its purest. No TVs or phones or jobs or homework to distract us from the lake for a solid week.

But since my year absence from beautiful Villard, MN, I could barely fathom that this was the place where I had spent the greatest weeks of my summers. There were almost 80 trailers parked behind the cabin area, leaving no more open space to play. A humungous 2 story cabin sat juxtaposed against the tiny older cabins, standing where the fish house once provided us with pictures of piles of sunfish for years. The water was up almost three feet, drowning the beach and any possibility of sand castle making. Then came the worst part. At least 30 people crowded the beach area, leaving barely enough room for our group of towels and blankets.

Where was I?

It was at this time that I realized the one place that had always been fixed in my head was now completely altered. It was like losing a favorite childhood toy.

But here is where I get cheesy and maybe a bit cliche. One thing would remain the same. This would always be one of the few times of the year that my whole family got together to play, swim, tube and fish. Even if our location wasn't great, it was always perfect when we could all be there.

It's true that my childhood is over. I'm heading back to school. I'm almost 20. But at least in Villard I could attempt to see my four-year-old feet running across the sand. I can play and be happy and silly. My cousins, my grandparents and my aunts and uncles are the same as always when we are together. That fact remains stable and reassuring.

I know very few people who like big changes, but for now I'm thankful that I could be amongst the people I love, even if our simple heaven had turned into a trailer-ridden "resort."

I'll admit it; I've been pining for childhood. So for now, I'll tuck memories from all those summers away. I hope one day I can pull them out and be a kid whenever I please.